


Understanding

by saye0036



Series: Bond | Q | Alec Trevelyan | Silva | Blofeld- Stories [3]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 06:17:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5732485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saye0036/pseuds/saye0036
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Bond and Q's fledgling relationship and the trial they go through.<br/>Continuing after the stories, Returned Damaged & Flirting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arguing

"Ouch!" Would you please not lean on me that hard. There is plenty of room on this bed, you don't have to always hog it all!"

"You weren't complaining about room last night." Bond can see that Q's in a huff about something. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing."

"Oh Christ no! Don't start that, oh it's nothing crap again. I don't have the time nor inclination to guess what the problem is this time."

"That's...just...great...get out then! You got what you came for."

"Q...come on. I'm sorry; just tell me what's bothering you."

"I think I would rather you just leave."

Bond gets up in a huff and goes to the bath. 20 minutes later he leaves the bath dressed for work. He barely looks at Q as he leaves. He's been expecting this. He needs to talk to Eve. She will have insight into whatever the bloody problem is with Q.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bond arrives in the office and immediately goes to Moneypenny's office.

"Hello, gorgeous how are you today?"

"007...how do you think...overworked and always having to deal with the emotional turmoil you leave behind. I knew you two getting together would be a disaster eventually." She says with a frown.

"Alright, so do you know why he's so angry with me this morning? Q certainly wasn't unhappy last night?"

"Are you sure he wasn't just dealing with you, considering you were flittering around the islands with no less than 3 women on the last mission. You were in no hurry to get home even for his birthday."

"Damn...I missed his birthday! Shit! I didn't think he would care all that much. I mean the mission was a success. I brought back all the equipment and saved the crown a fortune in prosecuting that idiot. They seized all the assets...all in all, a wonderful mission."

"Yes, but you really seemed to enjoy tossing around with those women. The last one Jane...the sister of your victim? She was surprisingly older than your normal mission fare."

"Yes." Bond sits on the sofa across from her desk and suddenly palms his face. "Did you see her? Hear her?"

"Yes, I did and so did Q, M and Tanner." Eve moves to stand and lean against her desk in front of him. "It's uncanny and I'm glad she survived, but she obviously hates you now for using her to kill her brother."

"I know...I...damn it! I know...I tried to keep away. I could have gotten in without her but…"

"She reminded you of M."

The look he gives her tells the tale of remorse and pain that she will hopefully never experience in her own life.

"Q helped heal you James. You can't treat him like yesterday's news. Or just a place to sleep once in awhile when you return. What do you feel for Q?"

"I...I like him. A lot actually. I enjoy time with him...he is...indescribably talented and attractive...I don't know. I'm not often drawn to men but occasionally to the individual, to Q...I am attracted to Q and I don't know why the hell he is willing to waste his time with me."

"James; you need to figure this out. Q's a special man. Is he someone you are willing to toss away for a fleeting month of passion with a woman who reminds you of the one you lost? Are you going to keep searching for M in every woman you meet, or see what is right in front of you? You and I both know that drowning yourself in women has never worked for you. Why not try to make something real with Q?"

"Because Eve; I'm a complete bastard that's why! I drink too much and cheat constantly. My normal day involves shooting people or working out and preparing to shoot and kill people. Damn it! Q deserves better than me. Once she told me that she would use me until I was all used up...I told her that it is good that 00's don't have a very long life expectancy. You, Tanner, M you all know I should be dead...Q's the only thing that kept me from following M into the dark."

"So...bloody well treat him that way Bond!" Eve tosses her folder on her desk as the intercom beeps to life.

"Yes M, 007 is here waiting to see you."

"Breakfast?"

"Your buying. We need to fix this James."

"I don't think I can do it without you Eve."

"Oh you could, but you're just too bloody bullheaded to see the light in front of your face."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Q's too young for all this melodrama. If it wasn't for Eve he would not speak with him again. Gone for two months. Lost in Jane for half of that time, if he didn't have to kill her brother he likely wouldn't have come back at all.

Q putters around his work station late this morning. He was unable to pull himself out of his bed. How could they be so intimate without Bond understanding anything, just assuming he will cave to his wants and needs like those women on his mission.

When the camera rested on the mark and his family, Q's stomach sank. Eve and the others looked at him at the same time. She had a blonde pixie cut and the same shaped face. The eyes were a mystery until Bond managed to get close enough. They were a similar blue but when she laughed, Q knew that he had lost him.

Bond deactivated his comms until after the mission was a success. Q's looking over the returned equipment right now. It is all lying in front of him in near to perfect condition. Q picks up the hyperbolic listening device and examines it thoroughly.

Seized by a sudden rage Q flings it against the wall with enough force to smash it. He takes the video receiver and plugs it into his laptop. It's strange; this feeling of both wanting to know, but dreading seeing what he has imagined in his head since he saw Jane.

Schrodinger's cat, interfering with his personal life. Hoping against hope that James erased everything, so he doesn't have to listen to him seduce this surrogate for M. Would the words be similar to words James whispered in his ear when they're in bed?

The computer takes the files and Q hovers over deleting. M will have his guts for garters if he destroys evidence. He puts it in a secure file and sends it to M, without opening it. He is too raw for this today. He needs to step away.

Eve shows up with a look on her face that says she knows. "Q, how are you?"

Q manages a small smile but Eve wanders forward and stands by the mess of equipment on the floor. "I see...well, I want you to know that I informed him of why I think you're angry."

"What did you say?"

"I said it was your birthday, he missed it because he was busy in bed with his replacement for M."

Q shakes his head always amazed at how Moneypenny can see through the problem to the core in just moments. Or maybe it's because she's the most empathic of his friends. Tanner would not come to any conclusions. Tanner's uncomfortable with his physical relationship with James as it is.

"What did he say?"

"I am not going to tell you that. The two of you need to work this out and not use me as a middleman. I will be a sounding board for you without problem, but the core of this, you have to find and deal with yourself. Find out what you really expect and want with James."

"I want him."

"I know that Q. James Bond's a force of nature and he needs to be directed towards what's best for him. I've tried to force him to see...but it's up to the two of you. If he calls don't ignore him if you really want to continue this affair."

Q sighs. "Your right. How did you get so wise."

"I started to pay closer attention to those I love."

Eve hugs Q and then pushed him to arm's length. "I missed the love he held for M...we all did. Too bloody conditioned by society to not expect a man in his forties to be attracted to a woman in her sixties."

"We all missed it, but for Tanner."

"No; even Tanner didn't pick it up, or as he said his brain ignored it as something illogical by the way the two of them clashed."

"What did he and Bond fight about the night of her funeral?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"No...that resides in his drunken painful memories vault. When I do ask about it, he makes a fist and grimaces as if I just attacked his mother."

"Come with me and we will get a late lunch with Tanner and we can discuss this."

"I don't want to intrude on your date with Tanner, Eve" Q says with a knowing smirk.

Eve pinches his arm. "Stop being a pill, Q. You look like shit today, and usually you're on cloud nine once he's returned home."

"Lead on then. Who am I to argue with the master of MI6."

"The master...I like that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tanner sips his pint, uncomfortable with the question. "Why do we need to drudge up old hurts?"

"James Bond that's why. He has not properly dealt with her death and none of that is more obvious than Jane. Surely you even saw that Bill."

"Yes...and M for crying out loud. It was obvious. Jane's younger but almost a clone of M."

"Yes, I was there Tanner." Q says dryly. "He came to my flat after the funeral and that is where this all started. He said he left the pub after fighting with you?"

"Yeah. I was so pissed at him. Why did he do it? Why risk her life like that off the books. I know she agreed but what bloody choice did she have. He kidnapped her just as Silva would have."

"You don't think Silva would have just shot her?" Eve asks.

"I went through Olivia's journals after she died and believe me Silva was all sixes and sevens after China. Bond told me what happened at Skyfall. How Silva screamed for her while he tossed flash grenades into the house. He wanted her alive...he wanted her to kill the both of them with one bullet. Silva was a box full of crazy. He didn't know how or if he could kill her and live without her. It was as if the madman...I don't know...felt..."

Eve and Q's eyes go wide. "He loved her too?" Eve asks.

"I think he was a bag full of crazy." Tanner says.

"That's what you fought about?" Q asks.

"Yes...look, I was mad that she was dead, and he was more than willing to take the blame for that. Then he told me he loved her. Hell! What was I supposed to say to that? He took the woman he loved as bait and managed beyond all odds to survive, but not save her. Not to mention we were both deep in our cups at the time."

"You knew he loved her?" Q asks.

"I did. I understood after a few years, and the way he acted towards her made sense finally. She would make offhanded remarks about him breaking into her flat to see her in the evening or late, far too late for it to just be a report to the boss. Christ, he could have used a mobile for that!"

"I didn't know. What about her? What did she feel for Bond?" Eve asks.

"You were new to it, just like Q. I've been around them for years. M's feelings for Bond were well hidden if they were sexual in nature. He was undoubtedly her favourite agent. Everyone could see that. She was a married woman and I don't think she was willing to toss that away just for a fleeting romance with Bond."

"Fleeting...that is all that anyone ever thinks he's capable of, me included. James and I cannot continue, I told him I didn't want to be the rebound. He's very persuasive when he puts his act on, but that is all it is, a seductive act for his pleasure."

"And the job." Eve adds. "Maybe he can't separate the job from real life anymore?"

Q looks even more depressed about the entire situation.

"No, I don't believe that either Q." Eve and Q look at Tanner shocked that he would weigh in on this romance. "James must be very attracted to you to come back to you. He doesn't do relationships and you are the closest he has ever come to actually having one."

"What do the two of you suggest?"

"If he calls don't ignore it. Go try to work things out. If you want him, let him come or call to you."

"What if he just walks away?"

Tanner and Eve look at each other and then at Q. "Q you will have to accept that and move on. I know it will be hard. I know you are emotionally invested in this relationship but you do not deserve to be just the casual lay in his life, if you want more." Eve says.

Q sighs. "You're right...it just...it feels…"

"Q, I know it's hard but he's the type you would have to give up cold turkey or it will always come back to this. You getting hurt and him running off to do whatever and whomever he wants." Tanner adds.

"I know. I will wait for him to call and meet with him. Thank you both for the support."

Eve grabs his hand across the table. "Anytime love."

To be continued…


	2. New Mission

James gets a basket full of food and beer. He sent Q a message over an hour ago. He doesn't know if he will come, but if he does they may just be able to work through this mess.

He arrives at the spot and spreads the blanket out on the ground under the tree. All James sent to Q was come find me. The genius can manage that with ease. The question is, does he want to? James has put the man through it, over this case.

Bond has put himself through it. "You know this is all your fault." Bond says into the air. There is no one around this somber spot overlooking the graves of so many beloved lost souls.

"If you hadn't been so...infuriatingly...stubborn and unwilling to acknowledge my feelings. If you had only let me break the ice around you after Nigel died. I wouldn't be a mess about the one I never got to have. You are the only one who ever rebuffed my advances and meant it."

James opens a beer and begins drinking it. Staring at the headstone and talking to her like she's right in front of him.

"I started a thing...a real relationship with Q. Would that have shocked you? Likely not. Would you have been jealous? Shown even a raised eyebrow to the situation? I know the new M has."

James takes another sip and continues talking to Olivia's grave. "Mallory's not as bad a M as I thought he would be. He did take a bullet for you...I think you would have eventually retired and allowed him to take the reigns."

Bond looks around. The day is sunny and bright, the birds are chirping. "I've been so mad that you left me, that I've deliberately ignored that message you sent me. I still have it and I will get the nerve soon. Oh and thanks for giving me Jack...I almost threw him across the room in drunken bout of self pity but...I couldn't. Did you love me, the way I loved you? Even a little?"

Q walked up as Bond's speaking to the headstone of Olivia Mansfield. He's hidden by the tree as he listens to his lover, talk to the woman that somehow stands between them as much in death, as she did in life.

Q thinks that Bond's aware of his presence but just incase he remains quietly hidden behind the tree. He freezes when Bond mentions him. Q moves forward after hearing him questions M's ghost. If she ever loved him.

Bond's pretending to be relaxing on a picnic blanket. He takes another sip of beer. "You came."

"Yes."

"How long have you been standing there?"

"You don't know? 007 you are well trained to know when someone is spying on you."

"Usually you would be right. I've been somewhat distracted of late."

"Yes, I see. Does she talk back?"

"No, but I feel better when I talk to her. It orders my thoughts in a logical manner."

"I think she did."

"Did what?"

"I think she loved you."

James eyebrow arches in a questioning manner. "Really? How do you deduce that?"

"She never fired you for gross insubordination, for breaking into her flat. Invading the boss's personal space without permission would be a firing offence but she just let it slide. M, from what I am aware of, never let anything slide."

Bond laughs and holds out a beer for Q. Q sits beside him and they stay quiet for a while just enjoying the summer day in front of a grave.

"I have something for you Bond. Something that might make your decision easier for you."

"What decision would that be Q?"

Q hands him a pill. "To stay or to go. This will make a person susceptible to suggestion and will allow them to forget things. It affects the short term memory."

"And why in the hell do I need that?"

"For Jane. I know where she is. You could give it to her and then..."

"Stop!" James takes the pill from Q and buries it in the ground. "I don't need her...I need..."

"You need her." Q points at the grave before them.

"No. I need you. You helped me get to this point."

"What point?"

"The point that I can speak with her, and about her, without constant searing pain. I work through things by talking to her. It's helped me work through the grief. Imagining M rolling her eyes at me and verbally taking me to task."

Q smirks at him as he takes a sip of beer and digs around in the basket for something to eat. "So, what does M think of us?"

"I think she would breath a sigh of relief that I found you to rely on, and Eve and Tanner too. She would be happy we are all still at work."

"So what of us Bond?" Q asks nervously.

"You deal with my bullshit, Q you are a far better man than I."

Q smiles. "I do manage that."

"M would be happy that someone can control me."

"If you consider this control, that is."

"You control me as well as she managed if not better."

" Where are we then 007?"

"Forgive me?"

"For..."

"Missing your birthday, Jane, and a hundred other things I'm likely guilty of."

"I forgive you."

"Good. We have work to do."

"What?"

Bond pulls out a DVD from the basket. "This is from Olivia. It came in my mail at work after I got back from Skyfall. She mailed it to me knowing she would in all likelihood die. Knowing M...it involves work...no sappy personal messages that would take my mind out of the game. She likely never suspected that it would hurt like bloody hell for me to watch it"

"If she sent it to you before she died...it's very personal Bond. You were her best agent and she loved you. I love you too. I can understand if you cannot say the same, but I will wait."

"I don't deserve you Q."

"No you don't but you deserve help with this mystery, now that you are willing to face it. What are you scared this contains?"

"M's image, bitching me out from beyond the grave." He laughs that kind of joking laugh that rings hollow with truth. James know Q's not fooled by it. "Or a confession...of love that comes too late."

Bond looks to the headstone while he finishes off his beer.

"I couldn't deal with seeing M's face...hearing her voice again...saying my name or even number. If you watch it with me...maybe I can..."

"I will. I want to know what she says. I have always wondered if there was more to this Silva thing than we knew. He could have gotten to her anytime in the years between his arrest in China and now. Why did he wait so long?"

"Why didn't you ever say?"

"I knew you would get angry, or not want to hear my suspicions."

"I will always listen to you Q." Bond takes Q's hand and lifts it to his mouth.

Q pulls his laptop out of his bag and puts the DVD in. He pulls it up and leaves it. "Are you ready?"

"Yes."

_James: if anything happens to me, I want you to find a man named Marco Sciarra. Kill him, and don't miss the funeral._

It was short and simple but she pauses at the end.

_Keep up the good fight James...and thank you._

Q pauses it and they both look at M, Olivia staring into the screen intently. Her face holds a sad resigned smile as she thanks Bond for the help she know he will give her to fight Silva.

"She knew it too. There's something more and it relates to her death and why Silva suddenly arrived after so long."

"Yes she did, Q. M would not let death get in the way of her job."

Q packs up his laptop, stands suddenly and pulls Bond up off the ground.

"M we accept your mission whatever it may be. We miss you and thank you for hiring me at MI6. You changed my life for the better." Q says to the grave of his former boss.

"M, you changed my life for the better. You taught me to love not the external, but the person, regardless of age or sex. I will miss you forever."

Bond turns to Q with a sexy smirk of a smile. "Would you like to finish this birthday picnic at my flat?"

Q smiles back. "I thought you would never ask."

Bond pulls Q to him as their lips meet. Whatever happen they will face it together.

Q gathers their things as James moves to the white marble stone, kisses his own hand and touches the engraved name on the headstone. He traces her name with his kiss.

"I will find him for you M. One final mission for the two of us."

"Three of us and the others if this goes to hell. Knowing you and her, it probably will."

Q finds the bouquet of flowers James bought beside the blanket and moves to stand with Bond as he places them on Olivia Mansfield's grave.

The two of them begin to walk away as a breeze suddenly blows, making the flowers flutter on the ground. It's as if M were here with the two of them, smelling them from beyond the grave.

The end.


End file.
